Snapshots of an Ordinary Woman: Hanging upside down

Monday, June 2, 2008

Hanging upside down

Is it normal at my age to not know what I want to do for the rest of my life career wise? With my college graduation looming in the near distance, I have no idea what kind of job I want.
I chose my degree, English, because I like it. I enjoy reading, I enjoy literature, the classics, studying, and even on occasion writing an essay. Unfortunately, the only way I can use that to ever make money is to become a professor or teacher myself. Something I can't ever see me doing, but everyone else always could.
I'm not made to be a teacher, but to learn. I'm not made to explain, but to explore. I'm built to think, to soak knowledge up like a sponge. I'm an artist. I'm creative. I'm an old soul. I write.

Yet, these are the things that can't bring in a decent revenue to live off of. I'm trying and trying to think soundly and adultly so I can find a good job, yet nothing trapping me in a cubicle, an office, or behind a desk will make me happy unless it is in my own little office typing up my novel.
I have ideas. My mind is full and ready to explode, but I'm not in the right place. My muse is not the middle of Indiana and school keeps me so busy I can't seem to find hours to let my mind escape. I need sleep and so instead of staying up and writing, I keep it all in hoping that one day I can write it all out. It's hard. All I want to do is write and hopefully, hopefully get something published. Until then, I have to make amends.

I've thought about working in a bookstore again when I graduate, or maybe even Starbucks (my addictions you know.. I want to ENJOY my days). I mean, Starbucks does have benefits. There were once explained to me as "high school" jobs so I guess that's out. I've even dreamed of having my own bookstore or my own little coffee shop but what small town graduate has enough money to start her own business.
And what small town, middle of nowhere girl could ever be a published writer?
Running and working out is another love of mine so I've thought about taking the direction of personal training. At least I can make a decent living with that and hopefully enjoy what I do.

I just feel like I'm hanging upside down sometimes with nowhere to go but up. Only, I don't know which way is up.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...: I never thought I was meant for, nor could i see myself teaching, so I was in the same position you were when I graduated college. But after TA'ing this past semester, I realized I really liked the act and process of teaching, so maybe I could see myself doing it, and doing my writing (not the crap edgy stuff Lew wants me to do lol) on the side. not saying that this is what you have to do, just offering my thoughts =); June 3, 2008 at 9:09 PM

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Defining Quotes

"My life can only ever be a lesson to me. The four key things that it has taught me thus far:
After night comes day.
After death comes life.
Even at your darkest time look around because you are never really alone.
You are loved."
-Pack up the Moon

"Forget what happened before, and DO NOT think about the past. Look at the new thing I am GOING to do. It is already happening. Don't you see it?"
-Isaiah 43:18

"I am your refuge and your strength. Even though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, do not fear. I am an ever present help in trouble."
Psalm 46:1-3

"But pain is hard to put into words and in life there is always pain. It's natural as birth or death. Pain makes us who we are, it teaches us and tames us, it can destroy us and it can save. We all have regrets--Some tragedies are of our doing and then sometimes things happen that are out of this world's control and when it happens, it can take our breath away.
Happiness is a gift. It washes its warmth over us and reminds us of beauty."
-Pack up the Moon

"I am dying from grief; my years are shortened by sadness. Misery has drained my strength; I am wasting away from within. But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying. 'You are my God!' My future is in your hands."
-Psalm 31:10, 14-15

"There's nothing better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve."
- Og Mandino

"I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life... to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. "
-Henry David Thoreau

"Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The unfailing love of the Lord never ends!"
-Lamentations 3:21

A Runner

I am a passionate about running.
It is in my soul.

"The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running."
-Nike running poster

"I ran to be free; I ran to avoid pain; I ran to feel pain; I ran our of love and hate and anger and joy."
-DAGNY SCOTT

"Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling and enduring and accomplishing."
-GEORGE SHEENAN

"Learn to run when feeling the pain: then push harder."
-WILLIAM SIGEI

"Out on the roads there is fitness and self-discovery and the persons we were destined to be."
-DR. GEORGE SHEEHAN

"If you want to become the best runner you can be, start now. Don't spend the rest of your life wondering if you can do it."
-PRISCILLA WELCH

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world is a mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How muc you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if yo uknow what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit and not pointing fingers saying you ain't wher eyo uare because of him, or her, or anybody."
-ROCKY BALBOA

"You were born to run. Maybe not that fast, maybe not that far, maybe not as efficiently as others. But to get up and move, to fire up that entire energy-producing, oxygen-delivering, bone-strengthening process we call running."
-FLORENCE GRIFFITH JOYNER and JON HANC

"Running is a thing worth doing not because of the future rewards it bestows, but because of how it feeds our bodies and minds and souls in the present."
-KEVIN NELSON

"Running is elementary. It is elegant in its simplicity."
-JOHN BINGHAM, The Courage To Start

Snapshots of an Ordinary Woman

Monday, June 2, 2008

Hanging upside down

1 comment:

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