Blessed

I have the most wonderful familyI could never have asked for. I take them for granted sometimes and I debate about my moving away soon.

At least hopefully I'll have a good vacation house for when they want to visit. They can't resist the beach.

Thoughts on a Friday

Fridays are good days. Everyone knows that. These are just a few, very random thoughts I have. There might be 1, 5, 9...but explore and see. Share your own if you like.

1. I wrote earlier this week how I felt like summer officially started, what with Memorial Day and all. Then I realized today that summer already feels over to me. I've had a great week just relaxing and doing absolutely nothing. I even laid off running this week just to give myself a break. I woke up this morning ready to run again but talked myself out of it seeing as how today was the last day I could "sleep in." (Seven today for those of you who know I can't.) I officially start my summer classes on Monday, and though I'm ready to be done with school, it won't be summer anymore because I'll be studying Chemistry.

2. Four weeks or 28 days and 10 hours from right now, I'll be leaving for Ireland.

3. I found the cutest coffee cups the other day and I'm dying to know where they are from. One of his military buddies got married this past weekend and his (now) wife has all of her shower pictures and such posted on Facebook. (I'm not stalking her, I met her and she is the nicest, sweetest thing.) One of her gifts was this set of a brown and white coffee mugs that say "I do! Me too!" They are adorable and I must find them.

4. I hope I never get breast cancer. I know we are all going to die of something, it's inevitable, but these days it seems as if cancer is everywhere, especially breast cancer. A good family friend went through a tough year last year fighting it, but she's doing wonderful now. I know that if it ever happens to me, it's for a reason and I'll get through it. I just hope I never do.

5. The last episode of Army Wives season 1 airs Sunday night. It's a repeat but I can't wait. It was a huge cliffhanger but had some of the sweetest, most tear jerking moments, of all season. I was informed this morning by my other Army Wives addictee (she actually IS an Army Wife) that Lifetime has declared next week Army Wives week and I'm pretty sure next Saturday is a full day marathon of all 13 episodes. I have a wedding to go too so I'll miss it, but that's ok. The season comes out on DVD the 10th. The life of loving a military man. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Slight Change of Plans

My verse for the day possibly even for the year:

"In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps."

-Proverbs 16:9

I've been going through the book of Proverbs and it's so hard to decipher some of the wisdom sometimes. Most of the time, the two line verses are really straightforward, yet, they run much deeper than they appear on the surface. I've constantly worried about what the next seven months are going to be like with my traveling the world, finishing school (taking the hardest classes all at once), planning my wedding, and up and moving my life. Not to mention leaving all my friends (or them leaving) and trying to find a job I'm happy at but pays the bills. Just when I think everything falls into place, something happens to shake up my perfect plan. I'm supposed to be taking classes next week but one of them might fall through which means I'll have to add it in the fall bringing me up to 20 hours of school. While working two jobs. It's going to be tough. But when I stop worrying about it, I can understand that God has his reasons. He doesn't give me more than I can handle, though at times it really seems like it.
Just when I stop worrying about my new life, in a new city, with a new husband and a new job, I might have to throw a new house into the mix, even though we already have one. Moving is not something else we need to think about nor financially support right now... but there's a reason behind it. I just don't know it.
I can't explain life and I'll never be able too. But I can throw out my insights in hopes that someone will gain some understanding, or at least find some peace. When I write, I find my peace because I know I will never understand my Creator and all of his plans. Yet I still write. And I also know that even if I write out my life, it'll change as easy as it is to press the delete button on my computer. I hate losing my work, but I'm ok with losing my life plan per say. Because the ultimate Author has something I will never be able to write. He has the perfect novel of my life and of yours. He doesn't have a delete button, only a blinking cursor continually moving and writing. Our novels are even already saved.

Summer addictions

Yesterday was Memorial Day. I'm not just now realizing this, I knew it yesterday. But, what I am realizing is that Memorial Day has always marked the beginning of summer for me. Growing up it was because the Friday before was the last day of school and Memorial Day was the day the pool officially opened. Well, I've been done with school for three weeks now (unfortunately I'm starting again next week) and now that summer is upon me, I'm gaining some addictions. It's been too cold lately to even think about swimming, not that there's a pool or beach around for me to romp in anyway, but other than running, I still have a lot of free time. I never have time to watch T.V. during normal semesters but now that I do, I find myself sitting around with it on for noise. And writing more.
Army Wives season 2 starts June 8th. That was my addiction last summer, mostly because Wayne was deployed and surprisingly, it helped me out. I can't wait. I've been re-watching the first season as Lifetime has been re-airing it and I find myself catching little things I didn't last summer. Like how it didn't make me break down every week. On the Sundays I worked late and missed the show, I'd come home and stay awake until 1 just so I could catch the episode again. It was how my week started. Season 2 looks even better and I can't wait.
Addiction for this summer, Samantha Who?. I've only caught two episodes (both tonight) but I'm pulled in. The first season comes out on DVD September 23 (crazy how I know that already) and I have a feeling I'll be pre-ordering. I remember wanting to catch the show last fall when it came out because my current, favorite, Irish writer, Cecelia Ahern, is the writer for the show. I love her novels so I figured I'd love the show. Well school, like normal, kicked my butt and half the time I forgot I even had a T.V.

Needless to say I don't mind relaxing a little bit to a good drama or comedy. Usually, I curl up with a good book and watch it play out in my mind. Right now, I'm enjoying the little break. Even if it is on TV.

A lifetime of waiting for Espresso Chip

Why is it that sometimes when we want something the most, we can't have it? We can search, and stress, and worry, and want, and ask, and we will never find it. Nor grasp it.
Until that moment when we stop thinking about it and our mind focuses rather on the bigger picture than the straight-lined want, we'll find it. It never fails I think need something right now, and nothing happens. Days down the road, months sometimes, I've forgotten all about that want and wham, there it is.

Tonight, it was coffee ice cream. Espresso Mocha Chip to be exact. I have had a craving, and I mean a major craving for coffee (well I always have a hankering for coffee) but this time coffee ice cream. I ventured to Wal-Mart on Sunday with my mother and we were just perusing the ice cream aisle, dreaming. We were talking about how good Edy's is and I noticed that had an espresso chip. Now, I'm a fan of the great value Mocha Chip, with a hint of Irish Cream, but I thought about just how good that name brand would be. I figured I'd wait a few days and when I got back home I'd buy myself a half-gallon since I'm really the only one who loves coffee ice cream.
Henceforth were tonight comes in. I make my bi-monthly trip to Wal-Mart and the only thing getting me through the journey is the hope of some wonderful dessert tonight. Just wonderful.
I get to the ice cream aisle and no where is coffee ice cream, let alone, Espresso Chip, to be found. I search through the Edy's section, I even browsed through the expensive Ben and Jerry's and other pints with the cave in of being ready to spend the extra bucks for the less ice cream. But no, no coffee flavors. I searched for the Starbucks brand and came up empty handed. The Great Value sections had been picked clean. Alas, coffee ice cream, a romantic movie, and myself were not meant to be tonight.

Instead, I bought a little cookie dough, (on sale for 98 cents) and told myself I'd be just as happy. And I am. I'm not settling, but waiting. I still have a hankering for Espresso Chip but right now it just isn't meant to be. I find myself understanding that about life sometimes. I'm going through a stressful time trying to get travel plans together, finances together, and my wedding planned. It's not all happening as I like, but sometimes things fall into place. It may not be the exact flavor I wanted, but, it's what I can get right now.
Do you ever find yourself craving something, or needing something right now it seems, only to understand that you really don't? Take a step back and look at what you are getting. Be thankful for that because sometimes our blessings come in different ways then we expected.
Sure, we want the good stuff, but why isn't cookie dough just as good, if not better, than espresso chip? It's still ice cream. God has a hand like that. The best part is that He knows what we need right now. He gives us the cookie dough so we can have a taste and enjoy it for what it is, then, way down the road, when we don't need it anymore, it gives us the surprise of a little espresso chip.

So have a little ice cream and smile at the hand you've been given right now. It's all that really matters.

Indy Mini Results

I just realized I've never posted my marathon results so here they are!

OVERALL

First Name

Last Name

BIB

DIV

5 Mile

10 Mile

TIME

GunTime

PACE

9819

Caitlin

Whittington

26193

F20-24

46:08

1:34:42

2:05:24

2:09:36

9:35

DIV_PL

DIV_TOT

SEX_PL

SEX_TOT

AGE

SEX

CITY

STATE

354

1449

2951

15736

21

F

Terre Haute

IN

The interesting life of a small town girl-- when she's back home

The blahs have struck hard. This week has been go, go, go, on the run constantly. I had awards night for my brother three nights, we spent all day Friday at the state track meet, his graduation was last night, then we've been going and going to graduation parties. I forgot how worn out I felt after my graduation and I didn't even have this much going on. I just feel like right now I've been hit with the blahs.
I've had way too much party food, not enough running, and too much living out of a suitcase. Not to mention too much cold weather, way too many bickers about wedding things, and absolutely no one to hang out with. Plus there was the whole factor of hardly any phone signal, a very scattered routine, and probably more then enough sleep. Oh, then all the worrying but that's the usual.
You'd think I'd appreciate the absolutely nothing I have to do tonight but no. Maybe the blahs are just a moment of relaxation before the storm of a busy semester...


But I did definitely spent last night hanging out at a bar with a bunch of my old classmates. I met up with a few girls at Matt's graduation. We got to talking and they invited me out. It was actually fun, surprisingly, considering most of them never gave me the time of day in high school. The night ended up being an almost class reunion. A lot of my old peers were there. After all, 57 is about the only bar in Tuscola. It was also great to hear how "hot" I was these days. I have a feeling last night's experience will make a great essay. I cannot possibly pass up that opportunity. Some things can spice up the blahs.

BOYS STATE TRACK MEET TODAY....WOO HOO!!!

Avoidance through questioning

Between sitting at the computer last night and then again this morning, I've spent about 2.5 hours messing with the layout of this blog, as well as my new one (which I have yet to reveal to all you fans) mostly because I can't write. There has been so much going on this week for my brother's graduation (I AM SO PROUD OF HIM and the million scholarships he got last night) and all the wedding planning stuff I have gotten done.
I haven't had a quite moment yet in which I can think, let alone write. But now, because time ails me, I must go run so I can get ready and go to a funeral this afternoon. It's going to be a tough day. One of my brother's friend's mother passed away last Saturday and it's been rough on everyone, let alone her son who is running several events at the State track meet tomorrow and graduating. None of us understand the timing but God has his reasons. I talked to her Friday night and even cheered with her at the track meet, and the next day, we heard the news. It's just so surreal.
In such a glorious time, it's hard to take the bad, but that's what living in Christ means. That's what living on this earth means. We don't always understand why things happen except that they are all part of the glorious destiny God has laid out for each and every one of us.
Psalm 73 comes to mind at a time like this. If you don't know, I really love the Psalms, but this is especially a good one. The writer is confused and even questions God at times. He doesn't understand how the wicked people can prosper, and how he, a good man, has to suffer. So many times I find myself asking that question when I'm going through a hard time, or I hear my friends or family asking it. It's not wrong to ask Him questions when we don't understand, but what we do have to realize is that he will answer us, and not always how we like. No matter what hard situations and experiences life brings us at good times, if we hold on to him, he WILL lead us to that Glorious Destiny.

"Yet I still belong to you;
you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
leading me to a glorious destiny.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
I desire you more than anything on earth.
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
he is mine forever."

-Pslam 73:23-26 NLT

Leaving on a jet plane... or my little Saturn

GOODBYE....Middle of Indiana.
So, I'm not flying out of the country yet (that goodbye will be bigger and better!) but I'm leaving town for awhile. I've got to head to that parents for some little brother graduation stuff and MAJOR wedding planning. I'm excited though. It's not like I do much around here. I go to work and come home to hang out by myself. I'm bummed though because my best friend just got back into town and I'm leaving, and when I get back, we'll only have a month to hang out before we both leave, her for good.
Life happens like that sometimes though. We just have to flow with it.
As for me, I'm flowing on out of here. After work that is.....

Muah, Muah, to all my fans. I'll keep you posted.

Ireland and it's beginning

I feel single again. Not single in the relationship sense, but single as in the alone sense. The sad sense. My heart hurts while I sit here drinking a sweet cup of coffee, watching a romantic movie (my favorite, P.S. I Love You) wishing I could lie in the arms of an Irish man.


I will be in Ireland in 44 days and I'm kind of scared. I'm taking this trip so I can "cram" classes in to graduate early and get married. I know, right? How horrible it must be to over work myself in school by going to Ireland--the only place in the entire world I have wanted to go my whole life. I'm not quite ready to leave yet, mainly, I just don't want to go by myself. I know I'll make friends with the other students going, and I'm hoping to gain another family by the one I'm staying with but doing something so grand is scary.
The excitement is building up, but I feel like it's turning to stress at this point. Excited Stress. Ugh. I think it's the first level of traveling. I'm so close, yet so far away to my adventure, I can't think straight about it and the only thing I can think about is stressful. Worrying about getting everything together, and packing, and leaving the country for five weeks. Give me a few more weeks and I'll be ready to step foot on the Emerald Isle.

Ring...Ring....Ring

The phone rings and I don't hear it.
The phone rings again and I don't feel it.

The phone rings twenty times and I miss them all.

My best friend had the most wonderful day of her life yesterday and I didn't get to hear about it until now. Partly my fault because I didn't have my phone on me most of the day and when I did it was either off or on silent. I know, I know... excuses, BUT I did have a lot going on.

Either way, I'm still so proud of her for getting the greatest job in the world and now getting to start an cooley, awesome, adventure.
Check out places of importance. She's my TN girl. :)



Can't wait to hear that accent.

Peter Pan

Weird moment via facebook. An old friend added me as his friend for his second profile and I got to thinking about how life moves so fast sometimes. It's weird to look at myself and see that I am a senior in college now with hopes to be a writer someday. My friend is I think, back at Depau? He's transferred back and forth from colleges, but anyway, that's not the case. The point is, is that my best friend graduated from college last week and now I'm graduating in eight months and I look around and see my other friends: some out of school, some skipped school, some married with kids on the way, others transferring back and forth to school, some studying things I never would've thought and...
It's just crazy how we grow up sometimes.

End of the year review

It is officially the first day of summer for me and I'm headed to work in about two hours. It's so hard to believe that I'm done with another year of school; I am a senior in college now and that seems impossible. I was reflecting/planning this weekend as I tried to fill my time with things. I realized how hard it was not having something to do. I'm so used to having a paper due the next day or something to read that when I got the chance to read something on my own, I couldn't pick up another book. I pretty much vegged in front of the T.V watching movies. Then again, my muscles were (and still are) quite sore from the half marathon I ran this weekend. More later.
As I reflected and planned I realized I have this whole month off of school, I start two classes in June (science, YUCK!) and then I'm off to Ireland for a little over a month. June 27th cannot get here any sooner for that. Then, I'm right back here for my last semester of college and then I'm getting married and in the "real world." That is quite unbelievable but I've been so ready for it for months now. I was talking with some friends yesterday (who just graduated) and they were kind of depressed about heading out into life. She pointed out how I have something to look forward too and I never really looked at it that way. I guess I really do. I get to graduate and then live the dream of getting married plus I already have a house to move into. I don't have much to worry about.
Life has thrown me many curve balls but when I look at it, I really just how blessed I am. I wouldn't be in school if it wasn't for God. Then I wouldn't have met my best friends, had some great times, or even met my future husband. These past three years have shaped me into the woman I have become and are still shaping me. I'm only today figuring out what I want to do career wise and that isn't even who I am. Three years ago I would have let that define me, but instead, I am a woman of God created to be a Wife, Mother, and Friend. There are talents and gifts that I have been given (such as writing, running...) that I can use in life to fulfill my destiny and to enjoy my career. Who I am today isn't who I was yesterday and the same will be true tomorrow. But what always stands is faith and love I have inside of me. I may go through science class hating every bit of it this summer, or sit around bored at work wishing I was elsewhere, but it's my smile and my eyes that show the world who I am. And I have those in every situation.

Like Saturday for instance. I ran the Indianapolis Mini Marathon and had a PR. I was no where near winning again, but I pushed myself harder then I thought I could. I wanted to run at least 2:10 since that is ten minute miles and 9 minutes faster than my last year's time. Well, I crossed the finish line in 2:05.24. I was so happy to cross that. I felt so strong during the race and this time, like most races I run, I was by myself. It was hard because no one else was there again, but it wasn't because I wasn't running for them anyway. I was running for God, and for me. I ran really strong for most of the race but mile 11 really got to me. My chest tightened a little bit and suddenly I felt my entire body and the pain it was going through. Satan really attacked me in my vulnerability. There were a few moments when I just wanted to walk and at one point, I even though to myself I'm never running again. It's amazing how the smallest little lie can tear apart a mindset. I knew I could run that race and run it strong, but one little put down from the bad guy and I wanted to give up forever. I immediately switched the song on my ipod to "Hold Fast" by MercyMe and just kept running. I put a smile on my face because I knew I had it. The rest of the mile was still pretty hard, but I made it. And when I hit mile 12, I was almost home and just kept pushing. My pace had depleted a little bit and I probably didn't finish as strong as I could've, but I finished; and in a time I thought impossible. I'm thinking about running another half in October. That gives me plenty of time to rest, take a break, and start training again. I'm hoping for a 1:59 next time. There is just something about running. I know most of my friends just don't understand it but running clears my head, gives me focus on life, and makes me a confident woman. There are times when satan beats me down but I fight back because I know my God is running right there with me.

I'll be sure to post pictures and official results when they are up.