Beginning the last week in March

AH! Time is going way too fast right now and it's a catch-22. I want things to move quickly because I'm ready to be done with school and move! Yet, I feel like there is so much to do right now and I don't have time to do everything.
It's never ending but I took a few minutes this morning just to breathe and to think. It's amazing what happens when you just start your day that way. 5 minutes even, if that's all I have, I feel so different.
I'm starting to hear that whisper again.

The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
1 Kings 19:11-13

Missed romance

Sometimes I think I read to many books. I love living in the stories but do I have a hard time deciphering reality from my literature? Or do I just have big expectations and dreams?
I always had a very active imagination as a child and it's never wavered now that I've grown... but sometimes I think maybe it runs away with me in real life.

I long for a Mr. Darcy sometimes. I long for that movie romance. For the fairy tale. For the story with a happy ending. But lately, it just seems like I'll never get it. Or as if what I had has disappeared. I cannot always talk out loud about it and right now I can't even find the right words to say but I just hurt. It's like something is missing and I don't know how to say it or to find it.

I'm tired of the way life is sometimes and then when it happens, I'm too blind to it.

I'm ambiguous tonight, probably because I can't sleep and I'm running low on words period. I'll try and sleep to good thoughts. Maybe if I wake up to the sun, something will be different.

CNF

I am empty of words.

I need them because I need to write.

Catch-22:I live a boring life with nothing to creatively tweak to make interesting enough to write.

Therefore, with nothing to write about if I even had words enough to write, I couldn't write.

I need words and something exciting.

Running with No One

I love running. I will openly admit that and nothing short of losing a limb (well... even now they have great prosthetics's) will keep me from running it. But today, I learned the importance of fans and support.
I remember when I was running track in high school my mom was my biggest fan. She loved watching me run. And I know if I was still sprinting she'd be right there cheering me on. Distance running is hard to watch and you have to pick either to watch the start or the finish or sprint yourself in between to be at check points to cheer. No matter, even if she isn't there to watch some of my races now, she still loves hearing about them and cheering me on even before race day.
Then there's Libby... who's been a fan of mine since I started my distance running. She's a big motivator for me and I love talking to her about my upcoming races. It was great having her at the half-marathon last year, even if she had to sit at the finish line for two hours, I picked her cowbell out when I crossed the line.
Today's race was a hard one. I didn't have anyone there. Sure there were lots of people cheering me on, but they were cheering everyone on. It's really nice to just have someone there who wants to cheer you on. It's just weird. I did a few smaller races this past summer by myself with no one to cheer me on, but today, being a 15k and a longer race, it was just really hard not having anyone there to support me. What's been hardest has just been being by myself all day too. I love talking to people about my races (and I know they probably hate hearing about it because I recount it step by step) when I'm done and I've just no one to share it with now. It's just been a boring day. I ran 9 miles this morning yet I still feel like I rested the rest of my day.
I guess that's what this blog is....a thanks for those who have been there and pushing my in my passion and just me talking about my race. It was a great race today. I did a PR : 9.4 miles in 1:28.37 in what felt like 70 mph wind the whole way and the race ended over a monstrous bridge (The Green Monster) which was super hard but very fulfilling. I did pull my hamstring and I'm very sore, but I feel so good about it. I don't regret doing it as I never do after a run, I just...now I understand the role of fans and support.

Thanks.